It's fall again Bub. Our favorite time of year. The cool crisp day todayMe Chey & Jade took a long walk walk. It was so nice. We walked around the school & while I was walking I was thinking of how many times I was callled to the school becasue you had left. You were such a turd!!! I walk by the house that you spent so much time at. You would have loved living her with us I know you would have. But you would have never been home.
I think about stillwhat things would be like if you were still here. I know I would be so much happier & I wouldn't be living with so much grief all the time. I literally miss the hell out of you!!! I have tried so hard to dream of you. I have a few times. But I want to have an awesome dream. I want to see your face & I want to touch you so bad. I wnat to kiss your forehead like I use to. I want to smell your smell. Only you had that smell. I miss it I miss you. I know I don't get to the cemetery like I use to. I know that you also know I think of you all the time. ...........why???? why did it have to be you? Why not the trouble maker of it all? Oh well I have aksed a million times I still get the same answer none!
I love you like no other forever you will be my baby!! Love your Momma
Tommorrow willl mark 4 years,since you left us.I try so hard not to dwell on it, but that's is impossible, as most know. I heard on the news last night that a boy 18, very handsome,had just graduated this year, he was in Columbus at Com Fest, he was stabbed to death by a stranger, right out in the open, daylight.People had seen it happen & had thought they were just wrestling, well he is now in heaven with you. All I could think about as his parents. $ yeras ago, it was your family going thru this, now it is , his. I just wanted to cry, Bub...... 4years ago, tommorrow, is a day I will never forget. It will never go away, the pain will remain, until I am with you again. I quit asking why. I get no answers, simply because ,now I believe there are none.
I have lost my life, I tried so hard not to. I have tried so hard to hang on, to be strong, to act like everything is o.k. Knowing without a doubt,now, that it will never be o.k. again. I have lost touch with my family. We had Steph & Ashley graduate this year, no one has a clue as to how hard it would be for me to go to their party. I haven't been to any. Not because I haven't wanted to, I love them both with all my heart. I #1, had to work, since they do our schedule 3 weeks in advance,going to another dept., people in that dept. had , had vacation already scheduled, since the 1st. of the year. I have been covering 2 dept. sometimes 3, since June 1st. Just the thought, of seeing anothet young one in the family, graduate & go on with their lives, put's a smile on my face, but it also, makes me miss you , even more. I am always asking Cheyenne, 'do you think Jordan would like this?" "What do you think Jordan would be doing, if he was here?" Her answers are quit quick,and very unknowing...... & then I have to remember.......... your sister was only 9. She is very much grown up, now for 13, but when you left us, she was so young , She was so cheated...... she really never got a chance to know you.That makes me so, so sad.... just like your nieces & nephews & yor little cousins. I get very angry, thinking of it. But ,there is nothing I can do about it. I wil ell you thoug, you & Chey are so much alike, it's scary JOrdan.,. She has to be so, so, just like you.her clothes fetish & shoe fetish, is just like you. she is always making all her friends laugh. She has an abundance of friends & she picks them alot like you did. It's never, who is better, or who has more, it's about who makes her happy. Just like you. She will be different in one aspect, her involvement in any kind of substances. sHE KNOWS ABOUT IT ALL, & CHOOSES TO NEVER GO DOWN THAT PATH, NO MATER WHAT..
SO TOMMORROW, I WILL BE AT YOUR GRAVE bUB. i WILL BE IN A VERY SOMBER MOOD, i NOW. bUT IT IS MY DAY TO ONLY , SIT & BRING BACK ALL OUR WONDERFUL MEMORIES. i LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH, SEEETHEART. nEVER VEER FORGET THAT! lOVE yoUR moMMMA!
Got the flowers planted at ur grave. I hope you like them. It is so hard to get up there like I use to.
Amber is on her way down with Bay & Ariel for awhile. I am off today, made a crock pot of one of your favorites, beef stroganoff.
I want you to always know that not a day goes by, that all of your loved ones, don't think of you. We have a new family member now. Uncle John & Sarah had a new baby girl callie Lorraine. She is just beautiful. She has a ton of dark hair like you did when you were born.
I will nver ever for get that day Jordan. You were absolutely beautiful, I remeber crying becasue I was so happy to have my boy.
Now I feel lost without you. I waited that 9 months, hoping & praying that you would be a boy, I bought all boy things, nothing girl, because I knew in my heart, who you were. You were our Jordan Ryan.
It has been raining all day. Very gloomy out. All I feel like doing is "nothing'.I was going to your grave today. But I decided not to in this weather & I know your O.K. with that.
It's been a tough morning, I knew when I went to bed last night, that today was going to feel just like this. I'm o.k. though, really. I just hurt deep down inside & I miss you so very badly. I've done given up on the fact that you will someday walk thru the door. How could I not , after seeing you lying there in that coffin, so quiet.... so peaceful... so handsome !! I miss us, I miss our talks, I miss your laugh & your smile,for god's sake Jordan, it's overwhelming...so overwhelming.
I'm not happy anymore. I cannot keep up with anything & could care less. went to see the Dr. today.. he promises me that in about 6 weeks , I will feel better. I have no idea how I am still alive with my blood pressure. Guess I really don't care in a way either.
Have a Happy Birthday today my sweet son. Know that we all love & miss you. I usually go to red Lobster on your birthday just for you, but I just don't feel like it today.
Love you always & forever! Hugs & kisses to you baby doll!!
Miss You && Happy Birthday / Brittany Blanton (friend)Read >>
Miss You && Happy Birthday / Brittany Blanton (friend)
the big 22! wOw....ya know i will never forget the good times we had a chey and kaylas house! you always knew how to make me laugh! thanks for all the good times! and i hope to see you again!
WISH ARIEL JORDAN A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMMORROW / YOUR MOMMA (MOM)Read >>
WISH ARIEL JORDAN A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMMORROW / YOUR MOMMA (MOM)
JORDY,
THE ONE WHO IS NAMED AFTER YOU WILL TURN 3 TOMMORROW. IT IS SO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT SOON YOU WILL BE GONE FOR 4 YEARS. I MISS YOU SO MUCH & I STILL WAIT ON YOU TO WALK THRU THE DOOR.
I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO WALK THRU YOUR DOOR. YOU WILL NEVER BE COMING BACK TO THIS "ONCE WAS GREAT" LIFE. IT IS SO TOUGH RIGHT NOW, ON EVERYONE. PEOPLE LOSING JOBS RIGHT LET, WITH NO WHERE TO GO. OUR JULIE LOST HER JOB THE OTHER DAY. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. I WORRY ABOUT THEM. THEY HAVE ALL THOSE KID'S, BUT I KNOW IT WILL BE O.K. THINGS JUST SEEM TO WORK OUT SOMEHOW. GOD...... FOR SURE!!!
ARIEL WILL BE 3 TOMMORROW. I HOPE YOU SEE HER. SHE IS SO CUTE. JOSH'S FAMILY CALLS HER LITTLE SUSAN. AMBER IS HAVING A PARTY FOR HER FRIDAY AT THE BLITZ. COME & JOIN US. I KNOW U WILL!! THEY ARE ALL GROWING UP SO FAST. IT'S AMAZING JORDAN. WHAT WOULD BE EVEN MORE AMAZING IS IF YOU WERE HERE TO ENJOY IT ALL WITH US.
I AM ABOUT TO MAKE SOME POSITIVE CHANGES IN MY LIFE. I NEED YOU SO BADLY TO HELP ME OUT. I STRUGGLE EVERYDAY, IT'S TIME, WAY PAST TIME. GIVE ME THE STRENGHT & THE FAITH IN MYSELF TO DO THIS... PLEASE!!
I'LL TALK TO YA SOON, O.K. WAITING FOR WARM WEATHER TO COME BACK TO YOUR GRAVESITE. IT HAS BEEN SO, SO COLD!
LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY EHART & SOUL, MOMMA
PLEASE BUB WATCH OVER ALL OF US. FROM YOUR MOM, DAD, SISTER'S, AUNTS, UNCLES & THE GREAT ONES, TO MAMA & PAPA'S.
My Mom, she tells a lot of lies She never did before. From now until she dies, She'll tell a whole lot more. Ask my Mom how she is And because she can't explain, She will tell a little lie Because she can't describe the pain. Ask my Mom how she is, She'll say, "I'm alright". If that's the truth, then tell me, why does she cry each night? Ask my Mom how she is, She seems to cope so well. She didn't have a choice you see nor the strength to yell. Ask my Mom how she is, "I'm fine, I’m well, I'm coping". For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth just say your heart is broken. She'll love me all her life, I loved her all of mine. But if you ask her how she is, She'll lie and say she's fine. I am Here in Heaven. I cannot hug from here. If she lies to you don't listen, Hug her and hold her near. On the day we meet again, We'll smile and I'll be bold. I'll say, “You’re lucky to get in here, Mom With all the lies you told!"
HEY JORDAN, ENOUGH!!!! I AM TRYIN SO HARD TO GET YOU A MESSAGE SENT & IT KEEPS MESSIN UP, I KNOW IT'S YOU MESSIN WITH ME. I CAN'T TYPE VERY GOOD AS IT IS!! LOL!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!! I BET YOU HAVE FUN MESSIN WITH US DOWN HERE DON'T YOU??
I HAVENT WRITTEN IN AWHILE, I HAVE BEEN PRETTY DOWN. BROKE MY TAILBONE, I'M SURE YOU KNOW. I'VE HAD A TOUGH TIME TRYIN TO GET BACK IN THE GROOVE. VERY PAINFUL..... TO SAY THE LEAST! BEING OFF WORK FOR 2 WEEKS, WAS REALLY NO PICNIC EITHER. IT WAS O.K. AT FIRST, BUT NOT BEING ABLE TO DO MUCH, IS ENOUGH TO SET YOU STIR CRAZY! RIGHT BEFORE THAT HAPPENED, WELL THE VERY MONDAY, BEFORE THE TUES. I FELL, I GOT YOUR ROOM PAINTED. TOOK DOWN THE HORRIBLE BORDER. YOU PROBABLY LIKED IT & I GUESS IT DID SORT OF GROW ON ME, BUT THE PAINT, I COULDN'T GET USE TO AT ALL.WELL NOW IT'S DONE. WITH NEW CARPET. LOOKS GOOD....... BUT..... I MADE A DECISION THAT WAS VERY, VERY HARD, BUT I KNOW DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART THAT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND, OR "DO UNDERSTAND". SHEILA IS GOING TO USE YOUR BED FOR ONE OF HER GRANDKIDS. SHE WILL KEEP IT IN HER NEW HOUSE, SHE IS GOING TO PUT ALL 3 KIDS A BED UP IN A ROOM FOR WHEN THEY ARE ALL THERE TOGETHER. I HAVE CHOSEN TO GET ANOTHER TANNING BED.I WENT BACK & FORTH FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS. I HAD TO SELL MY LAST ONE, SO AMBER & BAILEY COULD MOVE IN. I PRETTY MUCH GAVE IT AWAY, NOW I HAVE CHOSEN TO GET ANOTHER ONE. IT WILL BE IN PLACE OF YOUR BED. BUT I'M NOT REALLY GETTING RID OF YOUR BED. I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW, IT WAS A VERY HARD DECISION. I'M NOT LETTING GO OF YOU BABY, I NEVER WOULD, BUT MAKING DECISIONS LIKE THESE ARE VERY TOUGH. I NOW
.
O.K THIS IS STILL MESSIN UP ON ME, PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. I KNOW DEEP IN MY HEART THAT YOR EARTHLY THINGS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU NOW. BUT THEY ARE ALL I'VE GOT LEFT OF YOU BESIDES MEMORIES. I CLING TO EVERYTHING YOU OWNED. SOMEDAYS I FEEL LIKE SHARING WITH OTHERS WHO ALSO LOVED YOU, LETTING THEM HAVE SOMETHING OF YOURS. IT'S HARD, BUT I KNOW THAT THEY WILL LOVE & CHERISH IT, JUST LIKE I WOULD HAVE. THOSE TOTES OF CLOHES IN THE TOP OF YOUR CLOSET. WELL YOUR LITTLE SISTER CAN WEAR MOST OF THEM. I LET HER GO THRU THEM & SHE GOT HERSEF OUT A COUPLE THINGS.THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD, THAT SHE CAN WEAR SOME OF YOUR THINGS WITH PRIDE & LOVE.. SHE KNOWS TAHT AT ONE TIME YOU WORE THEM. IF YOU WERE STILL HERE YOU PROBABLY WOULDNT LET HER NEAR YOUR ROOM. SHE WOULD BE AFTER YOUR BIG, LONG GYM SHORTS, FOR SURE!! HER FEET ARE PROBABLY THE SAME SIZE OF YOURS. A 11.5 IN WOMENS, NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS. SO, I HOPE ITS O.K. WITH YOU. IT'S SOMETHING I REGRETTED , GETTING RID OF MY BED, YOU HATED IT WHEN I DID TO,YOU WERE USING IT AS MUCH AS I WAS. SO, NOW AFTER TOMM. WE CAN HAV EOUR OWN AGAIN. DO I NEED IT? NO NOT REALLY, BUT I WANT IT & IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!
TODAY WAS MY FIRST DAY BACK TO WORK. IT WAS TOUGH, AFTER BEING GONE FOR 2 WEEKS. BUT I WAS SO READY.NOW I HAVE TO WORK TO PAY FOR THE BED!! LOL
AMBER HAS BEEN WITHOUT A CAR,SINCE CHRISTMAS. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. BUT HEY DIDN'T KEEP UP WITH ANYTHING IN THAT CAR. THAT IS WHY I GET SO FRUSTARTED WITH HER. SHE KNOWS YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A CAR TO KEEP IT RUNNING. I HATE THE WAY IT LOOKS ON THE INSIDE. SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE IT LOOK BAD LIKE THE LAST ONE SHE HAD. WELLLLL... IT'S HORRIBLE! I HAVE MY OTHER GAND PRIX, BUT THERE IS NO WAY, I WOULD EVER LET IT GO. I CAN'T EVEN LET HER BORROW IT, NOT ONLY BECAUSE THE WAY SHE TAKES CARE OF THINGS, BUT NO INSURANCE. HER DRIVING MY CAR, WHILE SHE IS NOT INSURED, MEANS SHE GETS IN A WRECK & KILLS SOMEONE, IT IS ALL ON ME. SO THE RED CAR IS GOING TO TAKE PLACE OF YOUR CAR IN THE GARAGE & YOUR CAR WILL PROBABLY GO TO THE JUNK YARD. IT IS FALLIN APART, RUST WISE ALSO. I DONT THINK IT HAS HAD A BATH SINCE IT LEFT THIS DRIVEWAY A YEAR AGO.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE IS GOING TO DO WITH HER LIFE. HIM BEING WHERE HE IS, HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BE THE END OF THAT. HE HAS HELD A JOB NOW FOR QUITE SOMETIME, I JUST HOPE HE KEEPS IT & SHE GETS ONE SO THEY CAN AGAIN, GET BACK OUT ON THEIR OWN & HAVE A HOME FOR THE TWO SHE HAS. I AM SO, SO SICK OF WORRYING ABOUT IT. THE TWO ADULTS, I DONT WORRY AS MUCH ABOUT , BUT THOSE KIDS, I DO!! YOU JUST KEEP WATCH OVER THEM BUB.KEEP THEM SAFE ALWAYS. THEY ARE ALL LITTLE ANGELS, SOME GOOD , SOME BAD..LOL!!
WELL I BETTER HEAD TO BED. IT WAS NICE JUST SITTIN & CHATTIN WITH YOU, IT'S BEEN AWAILE HASN'T IT? YOU KNOW I THINK OF YOU ALL THE TIME. I STILL WANT YOU TO JUST WALK IN THE DOOR, SHAKE ME TO WAKE ME UP & TELL ME TO"QUIT DREAMING MOM, IT'S ALL JUST A BAD, BAD DREAM. I AM HERE I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN" SOUNDS SO GOOD TO ME.
Its so hard to realize another year is here...so many things have changed, and so much time has passed...while we talk and think about you there is still nothing that can make it better. Sometimes I wonder if you are ever around...every once in a while I will have a dream and you are in it for a split second..never longer than to say hi..I know thats what you are doing in my heart. I still sit and think were everyone would be today if you were still here..but those thoughts only make me angery because you are not here. One thing I do know is that you still have my heart. I dont know if I will ever get it back but you can keep it forever! You are truley an angel, I will love you miss you always Love!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ,ANGEL OF MINE! I MISS YOU SO MUCH. WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR YOU TO BE HERE WITH US. I DONT FEEL GOOD AT ALL, BUT I KNOW THAT IF YOU WERE HERE, ID FEEL MUCH BETTER!
UNCLE MIKE IS HOME FOR A FEW DAYS.TIM DOESNT GET TO BE HERE & TONI IS STRANDED IN CHICAGO AIRPORT RIGHT NOW. WATCH OVER THEM BUB. LET THEM KNOW WE LOVE THEM. CHIP & THOMAS IS ALSO LEAVING FOR FLORIDA WITH THEIR MOM, KEEP THEM ALL SAFE. WE HAVE ALOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR, LET US FOCUS ON THAT. BEING TOGETHER & ENJOYING EACH OTHERS COMPANY.
IT DOESNT FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS, PLEASE HELP ME WITH THAT TODAY. I WANT THE SPIRIT. I HAVE HAD SUCH A HARD TIME GETTING EVEN CLOSE THIS YEAR.
I WANTED TO LET YOU BOTH KNOW HOW THANKFUL I AM TO HAVE COME ACROSS YOUR BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE FOR JORDAN. HE IS SUCH A HANDSOME YOUNG MAN. WE ARE TRAVELLING A VERY DIFFICULT ROAD. KNOW THAT YOU AND ALL WHO LOVE AND MISS JORDAN, ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS TODAY AND EVERYDAY. GOD BLESS YOU~
AS I READ ABOUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL SON, JORDAN, IT TRULY BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES. WHAT A HANDSOME YOUNG MAN~THIS IS 'SO' NOT NATURAL, FOR US AS PARENTS, TO LOSE OUR CHILD. WE HAVE A HARD JOURNEY AHEAD OF US, DON'T WE? KNOW THAT YOU AND ALL WHO LOVE AND MISS YOUR PRECIOUS JORDAN, WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, TODAY AND EVERY DAY~IT'S SAD, BUT WE ARE NOT ON THIS JOURNEY ALONE, SO MANY SAD STORIES OF LIVES LOST, SO YOUNG~OUR DAVID WAS INTO SKATE-BOARDING, JUST LIKE YOUR JORDAN. HE ALSO LOVED MUSIC. HE TAUGHT HIMSELF THE GUITAR, AND DRUMS. HE EVEN RECORDED SOME OF HIS MUSIC ( WHICH I HAVE ON HIS WEB SITE ) I WISH I COULD TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY~WE MAY NEVER MEET IN THIS LIFE TIME, BUT I AM SURE WE WILL IN THE NEXT~WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY THAT WILL BE. WE WILL CELEBRATE WITH GLADNESS AS WE ONCE MORE, HOLD OUR BELOVED BOYS IN OUR ARMS, ~SEE YOU THERE!!
MY MOM IS A SURVIVOR / Anita (Aunt) My Mom Is A Survivor
My mom is a survivor, or so it has been said. But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed. I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand. She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand. But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...... I watch over my surviving mom who thinks of me each day. She wears a smile for others.... A smile of disguise ! But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes. My Mom tries to cope with death: To keep my memory alive. But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive. As I watch over my Surviving Mom through Heaven's open door..... I try to tell her that angels protect me forevermore ! I know it doesn't help her, or ease the burden she bears. So, if you get a chance, go visit her. Show her that you care. For no matter what she says.... No matter what she feels, My Surviving Mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal.Close
Happy Thanksgiving / Diane/Mom To Angel Jimmy Brozzetti Read >>
Happy Thanksgiving / Diane/Mom To Angel Jimmy Brozzetti Close
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU SO BAD. I JUST SO WISH YOU WERE HERE. I COULD ALWAYS TALK TO YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING. NO WONDER WE WERE SO CLOSE. I WISH WE WOULD HAVE EBEN THAT NIGHT. WHEN YOU CAME HOME & WAS SO MAD , I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE WOKE ME UP & TALKED TO ME, JORDAN.
NOW I NEED YOU & YOU KNOW WHY, YOU ALWAYS HAVE KNOWN.HELP ME THRU THIS BUB. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. I KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED & WHAT I WANT IN MY LIFE, WHY IS IT SO HARD ON US, WHEN IT DOESNT HAPPEN, THE WAY WE WNAT IT TO? I FEEL LIKE I HAVE LOST SO, SO MUCH. MY HEART IS SO EMPTY, BUT YET SO FULL, OF SO MUCH SADNESS.
LOVE YOU & I NEED YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW. HOLD ME CLOSE TO YOUR HEART & GET ME THRU THIS, PLEASE BUB, I BEG YOU!
Wow, grandma let me borrow a picture album the other day so I could scan and save some really old pictures she has. And in every face I look at, all your aunts and uncles, I see your little face. We have this unique look about us all. And I just totally love it. I love that we will be able to look into the faces of future generations and still see you. God has blessed us generously. And for that, I will be greatly thankful this thanksgiving. And, for the strides grandpa is making. If you had seen him the other day after Jerry's funeral service. He had us laughing so hard...... he was being such a little terd. He was teasing the therapist, just being his old ornery self, but kind of childlike. Which is so sad. But he is getting there. One step and day at a time. You are with him, I know, in his mind that has turned back in time. But I saw glimpses of the recent papaw too. LOL I'm sure you saw that too, the thing with his jacket. Well bubb, we are going to miss you being with us during these next mos. We do every day, but especially during Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was telling Wynn how grandpa use to always do the prayer for these special dinners, and he told me, "you should let him try to do it now too, don't take that away from him, even if it's not understandable". And he is very right. We know what he wants to say in his heart, even if he can't get it out into words. So, as he attempts, please be with him, speak through him, and make this a holiday we will never forget.
IT'S GOING TO BE OUR 3RD. THANKSGIVING WITHOUT YOU, HONEY. I THOUGHT I'D GET USE TO IT & THAT'S NOT THE CASE. SO I TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON THE PAST THANKSGIVING DAYS.WHEN WE WERE ALL ONE & SO VERY HAPPY. AS I GET OLDER THINGS ARE GETTING MORE SAD EVERYDAY. WE ARE LOSING OUR FAMILY MEMBERS. 1 BY 1 WWE WILL LINK THE CHAIN IN HEAVEN, ONCE AGAIN.YOUR 2 ND. COUSIN HAS NOW JOINED WITH YOU IN HEAVEN. NO MORE PAIN & SADNESS FOR HIM ANYMORE.SHOW HIM AROUND, TAKE HIM TO HIS DAD & MAMA & PAPA SIDWELL.
LIFE IS PASSING US BY SO FAST. YOUR SISTER WILL BE 25 YEARS OLD DEC. 13TH. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. BUT LOOK AT THE BABIES JORDAN. TIMMY IS NOW 6, TRIN 5, BAY4, & LITTLE JORDAN WILL BE 3. THEY ARE GROWING UP SO FAST. THEN THERES YOUR BABY SISTER , SHE WILL BE 13. A TEENAGER. IF YOU WERE HERE, YOU 2 WOULD BE SO CLOSE. SHE IS SOMEWHAT LIKE YOU, SHE HAS A DRIVE IN HER.I COULD NOT ASK FOR HER TO BE ANY BETTER OF A KID. SHE IS ALL, THAT I EVER WANTED TO BE & SHE IS ONLY 12. HER AMBITION & DRIVE, IS SO REMARKABLE. SHE HAS BASKETBALL EVERY SINGLE NIGHT & STILL KEEPS HER GRADES UP. KEEP WATCH OVER HER. SHE HAS A SCRIMMAGE TONITE & I CANNOT BE THERE. KEEP HER SAFE & KEEP HER DUNKIN!!SHE IS DETERMINED TO GO TO COLLEGE & THAT IS WHAT I WAN TFOR HER. PLAYIN BASKETBALL, FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEARS , & KEEPIN THE GRADES UP WILL GET HER THAT SCHOLARSHIP.
I HAVE A PORTARIT THAT WAS PAINTED BY A LADY I WORK WITH. HER NAMEIS MARLA. SHE DID AN AWESOME JOB. I AM SO DEEPLY MOVED BY WHAT SHE DID. SHE ALSO DID A PENCIL DRAWING. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, THEY HAVE MEANT THE WORLD TO ME. THEY ARE UP ON THE WALLS. SHE GAVE ME A MESSAGE. SHE HAS NEVER BEEN THRU THIS BEFORE. SHE WAS SO NERVOOUS & EXCITED THAT SHE COULD NOT WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS TO GIVE IT TO ME. THANK YOU JORDAN, I NEEDED THAT MESSAGE. YOU COULD NOT HAVE PICKED A BETTER PERSON TO GIVE IT TO ME. SHE HAS HAD A ROUGH WAY TO GO, ALL HER LIFE. SHE IS TRULY A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, I THINK THAT BETWEEN YOU & GOD, YOU HAVE CROSSED OUR PATHS, FOR A REASON. TAHNK YOU, I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART!!
WELL I BETTER GO. I WILL BE BACK & ILL BE AT YOUR GRAVE SOON , TO PUT YOUR TREE UP O.K.
Well, I started your wall today in this new house. At first I thought I had plenty of room, but there just never seems to be enough room anywhere to fill up the empty space in our hearts with your memory. I'm ashamed to say that I dreaded doing this. I put it off for so long. Only because it is painful. But once I started getting out the christmas decorations and trying to figure things out, I knew I had to do it. Christmas was your favorite time of year. And when I may finally have a little money to splurge, you are not here to splurge on. So as soon as I have that money in my pocket, I will make a trip up to your site and put something lovely there to show how much I love and miss you. To show you how much I appreciated you. Just how much we miss you. Let us feel you with us this season buddy. Fill us all with happy memories. Don't let the sadness creep in. What's done is done. If we could bring you back we would. In a heartbeat. But all we can do now is wait for the time when God will allow us to be in His presence, and with you and all our loved ones there. And be joyous this holiday that we even have that as a possibility through His son Jesus Christ. It is the only way. And I know you are there. And I know you are here too. You continue to watch over your momma. We love her so much. I know you did not mean this pain for her. We are all put on this earth for a reason. And your's was to be that kind and reverant person that you were. I believe that your passing that night may have saved another in some way. I just hate it that it had to happen that way, and your momma had to lose you. That your dad and siblings had to lose you. And that we are all missing you so much right.
But I'll decorate this wall. And I will look upon it and smile. I'll think about you and your face, your silliness, your loving heart. All the things that made YOU, YOU.
I THINK IM HAVIN A BAD DAY.... IMAGINE THAT! I DONT THINK, I AM!!YOU HAVE BEEN SO VERY HEAVY ON MY MIND ALL DAY. I HURT SO BAD RIGHT NOW, ALL I CAN DO IS CRY.
WHERE ARE YOU JORDAN? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME, COULDNT YOU HAVE JUST STAYED AWAY & STAYED OUT OF THE WHOLE DAMN MESS? NOW , I AM LEFT HERE WITHOUT YOU & I HURT SO BAD & IT JUST "SUCKS"............. LIFE SUCKS ! I AM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW. I CANNOT UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY YOU HAD TO GO TO THAT DAMN HOUSE & GET YOURSELF KILLED. YOU CANNOT FIX EVERYTHING..WELL I GUESS YOU KNOW THAT NOW, DON'T YOU? DAMN IT YOU HAD TO BE TO MUCH LIKE ME. ALWAYS TRYIN TO MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY. KEEP PEACE & SO ON.
RIGHT NOW I HAVE YOUR LITTLE SISTER PISSED AT ME. I HAD TO HANG UP ON HER, DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT MAKES ME FEEL? I WILL NEVER BE A GOOD MOM AGAIN, IF I EVER WAS. I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY, SO FAR AWAY, FOR AWHILE. I WANT TO SCREAM & I WANT TO CRY & JUST BE LEFT ALONE.
GOD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUB. I DONT WANT TO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY, WILL IT?
I FEEL GUILTY ALL THE TIME, FOR EVERY LITTLE THING I DO. I TRY SO HARD TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY.... BUT HAPPY ... THATS SOMETHINGI WILL NEVER TRULY BE AGAIN. I'VE LOST WAY TO MUCH OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.
I JUST NEED YOU RIGHT NOW, COME TO BED WITH ME & TALK TO ME IN MY DREAMS BUB, TELL ME IT WILL BE ALRIGHT, TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME. I MISS YOU SO BAD. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!
Tributes and Condolences
--bRittAnY--
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