Well, I started your wall today in this new house. At first I thought I had plenty of room, but there just never seems to be enough room anywhere to fill up the empty space in our hearts with your memory. I'm ashamed to say that I dreaded doing this. I put it off for so long. Only because it is painful. But once I started getting out the christmas decorations and trying to figure things out, I knew I had to do it. Christmas was your favorite time of year. And when I may finally have a little money to splurge, you are not here to splurge on. So as soon as I have that money in my pocket, I will make a trip up to your site and put something lovely there to show how much I love and miss you. To show you how much I appreciated you. Just how much we miss you. Let us feel you with us this season buddy. Fill us all with happy memories. Don't let the sadness creep in. What's done is done. If we could bring you back we would. In a heartbeat. But all we can do now is wait for the time when God will allow us to be in His presence, and with you and all our loved ones there. And be joyous this holiday that we even have that as a possibility through His son Jesus Christ. It is the only way. And I know you are there. And I know you are here too. You continue to watch over your momma. We love her so much. I know you did not mean this pain for her. We are all put on this earth for a reason. And your's was to be that kind and reverant person that you were. I believe that your passing that night may have saved another in some way. I just hate it that it had to happen that way, and your momma had to lose you. That your dad and siblings had to lose you. And that we are all missing you so much right.
But I'll decorate this wall. And I will look upon it and smile. I'll think about you and your face, your silliness, your loving heart. All the things that made YOU, YOU.
I THINK IM HAVIN A BAD DAY.... IMAGINE THAT! I DONT THINK, I AM!!YOU HAVE BEEN SO VERY HEAVY ON MY MIND ALL DAY. I HURT SO BAD RIGHT NOW, ALL I CAN DO IS CRY.
WHERE ARE YOU JORDAN? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME, COULDNT YOU HAVE JUST STAYED AWAY & STAYED OUT OF THE WHOLE DAMN MESS? NOW , I AM LEFT HERE WITHOUT YOU & I HURT SO BAD & IT JUST "SUCKS"............. LIFE SUCKS ! I AM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW. I CANNOT UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY YOU HAD TO GO TO THAT DAMN HOUSE & GET YOURSELF KILLED. YOU CANNOT FIX EVERYTHING..WELL I GUESS YOU KNOW THAT NOW, DON'T YOU? DAMN IT YOU HAD TO BE TO MUCH LIKE ME. ALWAYS TRYIN TO MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY. KEEP PEACE & SO ON.
RIGHT NOW I HAVE YOUR LITTLE SISTER PISSED AT ME. I HAD TO HANG UP ON HER, DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT MAKES ME FEEL? I WILL NEVER BE A GOOD MOM AGAIN, IF I EVER WAS. I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY, SO FAR AWAY, FOR AWHILE. I WANT TO SCREAM & I WANT TO CRY & JUST BE LEFT ALONE.
GOD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUB. I DONT WANT TO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY, WILL IT?
I FEEL GUILTY ALL THE TIME, FOR EVERY LITTLE THING I DO. I TRY SO HARD TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY.... BUT HAPPY ... THATS SOMETHINGI WILL NEVER TRULY BE AGAIN. I'VE LOST WAY TO MUCH OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.
I JUST NEED YOU RIGHT NOW, COME TO BED WITH ME & TALK TO ME IN MY DREAMS BUB, TELL ME IT WILL BE ALRIGHT, TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME. I MISS YOU SO BAD. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!
its been a while / Tai
Hey Jordan. It's been far too long. Life has been so hectic here but should not be an excuse why I cannot take five minutes out of my day to think. I have had a tough, emotional couple of weeks. Kayla and I are drifting so far apart. She is going to Valley Beauty school and I'm also attending school...at muskingum, majoring in education... yes, I probably could have picked a better one, but that is where my heart is at. Nothing has changed much as far as our circle of friends, or maybe a lot has changed. It seems like such a norm to me since I witness it daily... Jared is still Jared... Adam is heading for the worst... Kayla has a GORGEOUS baby, Bray, he is sooo precious.... I miss her dearly, it has been a while since I have seen even her... and Bray! Gavin is walking now. It is hard to believe that he is nearly 13 months. Everyday he is changing, doing something new. He has discovered where the pans are and insists on dragging every SINGLe one of them out! I sware that he does it just to see me pick them up, wash them again, and put them away. Before I know it, I will be sending him off to Kindergarten to repeat his ABCs and 123s.
I miss you terribly. Every day goes by as normal and then everyonce in a while I have a really rough day. Sometimes it is something so silly that reminds me of you, but I love it. I catch myself feeling so guilty and I guess I still haven't really caught onto how to cope with that aspect yet.
I need to get up there to your grave before it gets nasty outside. DAMN OHIO WEATHER!
I hope your mom is doing okay. I should stop by your house soon and give her a hug, then again, she may not have any interest. I feel like such a slacker friend... in more aspects than one. I have a ton on my plate right now- perhaps more than I can handle.
I miss you Jordan! I miss riding around in your Thunderbird listening to Thursday and sittin at the skatepark. OH, and the completely random trip to Lancaster to that skatepark. I still wonder how Kay and I would entertain ourselves, for what seemed like hours on end. I miss it so much. Oh to be that young again. I think often about how much I would give to just put myself there, once more. I cherish all of the memories, good and bad. I hold onto them tightly.
I miss you and Kayla being together so much. Nothing against anyone, but you guys were something else. So PERFECT together- or at least that was what was right at the moment.
I wish you were still here- graduating college this year.... or modeling and buying me some clothes- since so much was left in my house when it caught on fire.
I was thinking the other day about being so mad at you for laughing because my dog was stuck in the house... such stupid petty stuff in light of everything else. OH Jordan! We were all such goofballs!
I have got to go and do something... homework, something!
I miss your goofy laugh, the good times, Tai Close
With so much that you went through with your mom and dad, you would know what Chelsi and Larissa are going through right now. You would be able to sit down and talk to them and help them understand. I don't involve them, but their dad and his family does. We don't sit around as a family and discuss Brad. But they do me. And now it has one of the girls hating her dad and his family. I didn't want that. But they did it themselves by talking badly about me. And so now the pity party for Brad has started. Thank God they are old enough to understand now. I wonder how much CRAP has been fed to their little heads over the years now. You Would Know.
I am so verrrry upset about not being able to go see grandpa. I have gone round and round with this virus. Just when I think I am better and go (last night) I start getting bad stomach cramps and get real gasssy again. I can't stand it. I wasn't able to go see him in Cleveland, seems I could never "catch a ride" and now I can't go see him just down the road. I hope that everyone gives him my messages of love when I ask them to. He may not even know who I am. That would kill me. We got so close when I lived with grandma and grandpa for a few weeks. I saw him in a totally different light. We sang together at church. He was so proud of me. I could see it in his eyes. He drug me up there to do another song that we hadn't even practiced! That seems like so long ago. I want to get him a couple of songs together to take in for him to listen to. I may even record for him. Then he will know who I am for sure.
On another note, how do you like my boyfriend/future husband? Isn't he silly? I hate the thought of moving so far away, I swore I wouldn't, but I cannot pass up this happiness I feel. It's not that far away. Just a 1hr. 45 m. drive. And I'm just down the road from aunt Toni's work. I have stopped a couple of times on my way down to see her. That baby girl has come a long way. I am very proud of her. She has overcome so much. We are all fighters in this family. Especially your momma. The girls seem to like Wynn. Larissa and Paul have formed an aliance. LOL Chelsi is ok with it all, but the fear of being so far away from her friends when she is down there with me is more than she can take. She is VERY close to her friends. And even though she lives at her dads most of the time, she spends more time with her friends than him. Tell me what to do about the rivalry between Chels and Riss. I just don't understand it. My sisters and I had our days, but we never hated each other the way these two do, or say they do. Larissa cries to me occasionally that she is trying to get along better. They are just so different from one another.
Well I better end this book. I love and miss you soooo much. When I think about you, I see you more as that little ornery boy more than the man you had become. Then I will think over and over again about that man that would have taken the world in his hands, the way Tim has. I love you bub. Keep the family close to you. Keep us under your wings. And see if God will keep this kidney disease at bay for a long time, just as he has so far. I don't like it when my loved ones have to worry. They have better things to do. Until we hug again.....................XOXOXOXOXO
HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO MY SPECIAL LITTLE "ANGEL" IN HEAVEN, WHO WATCHES DOWN OVER US. WISH YOU COULD BE HERE. SORRY I DIDN'T MAKE IT TO CARVE YOU A PUMPKIN THIS YEAR! PLEASE KNOW BUB, THAT YOU ARE STILL THOUGHT OF, NO MATTER WHAT. I LOVE & MISS YOU!!
ITS BEEN AWHILE. I THINK OF YOU ALL THE TIME HONEY.
WENT TO SEE PAPA TODAY. ITS HARD, VERY HARD. POOR GRAMDMA, HAS TO WATCH IT EVERYDAY. JUST KNOWING THAT HE IS STILL HERE WITH US, WELL WE ARE VERY THANKFUL FOR THAT. HE HAS A LONG WAY TO GO BUB. HE HAS ALSO CAME AL LONG WAY. WATCHING HIM TRY TO LEARN HOW TO TALK AGAIN & THEN WATCHING HIM TAKING THOSE BABY STEPS. IT BREAKS MY HEART , BUT HE DOES IT & TRIES VERY HARD. HE GETS SO CONFUSED & THAT MAKES HIM ANGRY. I TOOK HIM SOME NEW SOCKS TODAY. I EVEN GOT HIM SOME WITH A LION ON THEM, SO HE CAN WEAR THEM WHEN THE BOYS GO SEE HIM.HE JUST SMILED WHEN HE SEEN THEM. GOT HIM A NEW DRY ERASE BOARD & I HELPED HIM WRITE HIS NAME. HE DID GOOD, I THINK. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, BUT TO JUST BE THERE WHEN I CAN.JUST PLEASE BUB, STAY WITH HIM. HOLD HIM UP & GIVE HIM STRENGTH TO GET THRU THSES DAYZ UNTIL HE IS BETTER AGAIN & BACK HOME. WHEN I LEFT I ASKED HIM WHAT MY NAME WAS.. HE SAID, MARY! I SAID NO, NO , THATS NOT MY NAME & THEN HE LAUGHED & SAID TOOO. I SAID YES. THEN I ASKED HIM HIS NAME & HE SAID KAREN! I SAID NO, & HE JUST LAUGHED & I SAID , DAVID ... & HE SAID YEAH, DAVID. ONE DAY AT A TIME. THATS ALL WE CAN DO. I JUST HOPE THAT WHAT HE PICKS UP 1 DAY, HE DOESNT FORGET THE NEXT.
WE HAD A YARD SALE FOR THEM. AUNT SHELL WORKED HER BUTT OFF. WE MADE 500.00, WHICH IS GOOD. WE DID NOT ADVERTISE, BUT IT WAS STILL GOOD. MAYBE WE WILL TRY AGAIN SPRING TIME.
WELL IM HEADIN TO BED, PLEASE COME SEE ME IN MY DREAMS BUB. I LOVE YOU SO, SO MUCH HONEY!!
God's Power / John Russell (Uncle)
Over the last couple days I have put our lord to the test! Your Grandpa is going thru the worst time of his life. Jordan please kiss him on the cheek in his bed tonight. I have seen such an improvement, but we have soo far to go. Jordan I'm not selfish, If God wants him more than he can have him. I don't know what I'll ever do without him Jordan, he has been my rock for 31 years, and now I'm his and it feels great. I will be the best Dad I can be for my children also. I also wanted to let you know that I'm also going to be a Dad again. Wow! I miss ya man. I love ya lots and miss you more. Uncle John Close
WE ALL NEED YOU BUB. I AM SO UPSET ABOUT PAPA. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHAT HE IS THINKING & WHAT HE IS GOING THRU. MAMA ALSO. MY HEART BREAKS FOR HER THAT SHE CANNOT EVEN GO SEE HIM RIGHT NOW. WHY, WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GET SICK NOW? I THINK SHE HAS UST WORRIED HERSELF SICK. JORDY, PLEASE , PLEASE HONEY GO SEE THEM IN THERE SLEEP TONIGHT, GIVE THEM BOTH AHUG & TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM.
WATCHING THEM GO THRU THIS, ALSO MAKES ME MISS YOU MORE. I WISH YOU WERE HERE WITH US, SO YOU COULD BE HERE FOR THEM.
I GOTTA MAKE SOME PHONE CALLS, SO I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR NOW. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON & BACK & MORE.......
Heyy Jordan havn't talked to you in a while...but i have been so busy...getting things ready for homecoming..YES!!I got a date... he even asked me out :)hes real sweet treats me like he should && i knoww if you were here you would set him straight if you needed to...buit everything is almost perfect..except between my mom && dad that is a toughy...something im sure ill make it through...but right now i got amaziing friends&&a perfect guy...but im gonna go I will ttyl
BUB, ITS JUST ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS. CANT SLEEP. ITS BEEN A BAD WEEK FOR THAT. MY DREAMS HAVE KEPT ME AWAKE FOR THE MOST PART. SOMEONE ALWAYS STEALING OUR CARS. I DONT KNOW IF ITS A SIGN OR NOT. ONE NIGHT THEY STOLE YOURS. I WAS DEVASTSATED. GRAMMA,ME, CHEY & 1 OF HER FRIENDS WERE IN A TRUCK WITH A 4 WHEELER IN BACK, WE WERE GOING OUT LOOKIN FOR YOUR CAR. I HAD MY WHOLE HOME DEPOT FAMILY OUT LOOKIN ALSO. BECKY HAD THE WHOLE CROWD IN ORDER TO SEARCH..LOL, WHAT A NIGHT. DONT KNOW IF WE EVER FOUND IT, BUT I WAS EXHAUSTED WHEN I WOKE UP.
THEN NIGHT BEFORE LAST, IT WAS MY CAR. AGAIN, SEARCHED ALL NIGHT FOR IT. I WAS TELLIN EVERYBODY I COULD FIND, IF YOU LIVE IN THE MAYSVILLE DISTRICT, ESPECIALLY S. ZANESVILLE YOU SHOULD MOVE BECAUSE BAD THINGS HAPPEN HERE. 1ST MY SON WAS MURDERED HERE & THEN I HAVE HAD CARS STOLEN. I WAS TELLIN THEM HOW BAD OF A PLACE IT IS TO LIVE HERE. NEEDLESS TO SY, GOING TO WORK THE NEXT DAY WAS TOUGH. I WOKE UP VERY TIRED & VERY PISSED OFF & HURTING!! I KNOW IM CRAZY, ARENT I??
I THINK TO MYSELF, MAYBE THIS IS A BAD PLACE TO LIVE, KNOWIN YOU WERE KILLED RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD. BUT THEN I KNOW IN MY HEART, IT CAN HAPPEN ANY WHERE. I STILL GET VERY ANGRY, I ALWAYS WILL. THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS I CAN TOLERATE TEHSE DAYZ. I LOVE MY JOB, BUT FOR GOODNESS SAKES THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE I SEE DAILY, THAT ARE SO, SO RDE. IF THEY ONLY KNEW, WHAT REALLY "SUCKS" IN LIFE THEIR ATTITUDES WOULD CHANGE, DRASTICALLY!!!
WHAT I FEEL REALLY "SUCKS" IN LIFE & WHAT THEY FEEL ARE 2 DIFFERENT THINGS. BUT I WOULDNT WISH THIS KIND OF "SUCK" ON ANYONE. IT IS AN EVERY SINGLE DAY BATTLE & SOME TIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE GIVING UP. BUT I DONT GET A CHOICE, I DO HAVE TO KEEP GOING. SO I PAINT THE SMILE , THE NEW SMILE THAT GOD GAVE ME... I PAINT IT ON & GO OUT & TACLKLE THE WORLD AGAIN & AGAIN, EVERYDAY. UNTIL HE DECIDES I HAVE HAD ENOUGH & RELIEVES ME OF ALL THE PAIN.
I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY LESS FORTUNATE AS FAR & HEALTH & MONEY, BUT SOMETIMES I THINK I COULD HANDLE THAT, FAR BETTER THAN WHAT I HAVE TO EVERYDAY.
WHICH BRINGS US TO PAPA RUSSELL. WE GO NEXT SUNDAY TO STAY OVER NIGHT WITH MAMA. THEY WILL TAKE HIM IN ON MONDAY. BUB, I BEG YOU. BE WITH HIM, I DONT BELIEVE IT IS HIS TIME YET. HE NEEDS U RIGHT THERE WITH HIM, HOLDIN HIS HAND & U TELLIN HIM, COME ON, PAPA, THIS FAMILY OF OURS NEEDS YOU ,DONT LEAVE THEM NOW. GIVE HIM THE STRENGTH HE NEEDS & THE WILL & PUSH TO GT HIM THRU THIS. I HAVE FAITH IN GOD, I KNOW HE WILL DO WHATEVER HE NEEDS TO DO. IF HE TAKES HIM, I KNOW THERE IS A REASON, IF HE DOESNT, THE REASON WILL ALSO BE MORE UNDERSTOOD. LOSING IS NOT AN OPTION.. NO NE WANTS TO LOSE, ESPECAILLY WHEN THEY LOVE SOMEONE SO VERY MUCH!! AND THAT I DO SWEETIE, I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!
The Clouds Are Not Gray Anymore / Chelsi Riley (cusion)Read >>
The Clouds Are Not Gray Anymore / Chelsi Riley (cusion)
Heyy Jordy..Last Time I Wrote You I wasnt Doing to good but now things are starting to clear up...with school && everything.But I have had Quite A ear infection lately...&& major headaches..It is probably just the stress..but now I am starting to just take a deep breath &&work through everything
Your momma has been so good worrying so much about me after reading her message I realized I have you watching out for me..so now no worries....Its about thaksgiving..well a few months but it seems like time is passing by so quick&&before I know it I will get to see you again..we can walk side by side....&&we cant wait to wrap our ams around you.!
MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR IS APPROACHING US. I BELIEVE IT WAS YOURS ALSO. I THINK OF YOU SO MUCH JORDAN. YOUR NAME COMES UP DAILY, WHETHER IT BE HOME OR WORK. I WATCH THESE YOUNG KIDS I WORK WITH LIVING THEIR LIVES & IT MAKES ME WANT YOU HERE EVEN MORE. I WORK WITH SEVERAL YOUNG MEN YOUR AGE & I KNOW FOR A FACT A COUPLE OF THEM WOULD MAKE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND FOR YOU (LIKE YOU NEEDED MORE).I LOOK AT THEM WALKING INTO WORK & JUST SMILE. MY PAIN IS SOMETIMES OBVIOUS AS HECK, BUT JUST EEING THEM, MAKES ME SMILE. ONE REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF YOU & WHATS FUNNY, THEY CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT THEIR LIVES & THE THINGS THEY DO. JUST LIKE YOU & I.
I JUST WISH YOU WERE STILL HERE. YOU COULD STILL LIVE AT HOME. I WPULD AHVE GIVEN YU THE BASEMENT FOR AN APARTMENT. YOU WOULD LOVE IT HERE.
IF I COULD JUST TURN BACK TIME. YOUD STILL BE HERE & OUR LIVES WOULD BE BACK TO NORMAL BUB.
WELL GOTTTA GET READY FOR WORK. BE WITH ME TODAY O.K.
HAVENT BEEN ON TO TALK IN AWHILE.I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY, BETWEEN WORK & HERE. I KNOW U KNOW. I'M TIRED, I HURT, I MISS & LOVE YOU, BUT OTHER THAN THAT I AM FINE. I OFTEN WONDER IF YOU KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING ALL THE TIME. HA, I HOPE NOT ALWAYS! MY HEART IS SO SWELLED UP. I FEEL LIKE I COULD EXPLODE. SO MANY PEOPLE NEED YOU BY THEIR SIDES. PLEASE BUB, YOU KNOW WHO THEY ALL ARE, BE WITH THEM, I AM FINE RIGHT NOW, GO BE WITH THEM & HELP THEM.I READ CHELSI'S NOTE TO YOU. WHEN I THINK OF HER & MY SISTER & HER SISTER & ALL THAT THEY HAVE BEEN THRU & ARE STILL GOING THRU, IT BREAKS MY HEART!IF THERE COULD BE 20 MORE OF ME & LOT'S OF FUNDING... GOOD GOD, LOOK OUT.I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, BUT THIS IS ANOTHER STORY I CAN FIND NO REASON AT ALL FOR. IS GOD JUST BUILDING THEIR STRENGTH UP? IS THAT WHAT HE IS DOING TO US ALL? ANITA HAS STRUGGLED FOR SO LONG, THERE HAS TO BE A HAPPY TIME COMING SOON. I'VE HAD A DECENT LIFE & THEN LOST YOU, NOW I JUST SURVIVE EVERYDAY. IS THAT THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE? I THINK WE HAVE ALL GOT A STORY, EVERY TIME ONE OF US THINK THAT THINGS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE, THEY DO. THEN YOU OOK AT OTHER'S & THINK, WOW, THEY AHVE SUCH A GOOD LIFE.... BUT I DONT THINK ITS ALWAYS LIKE THAT... WE JUST HAVENT WALKED A MILE IN TEHRE SHOES YET.
OUR WHOLE SURVIVAL MODE IN LIFE.....PERIOD.....IS TO LOVE & TREAT OTHER'S THE WAY YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED. I TOLD YOU KID'S THAT SO MANY TIMES. IT'S TOUGH SOMETIMES... BUT IT'S LIFE!SOMETIMES I FORGET TO PRAY OR FORGET TO TELL GOD THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT HE HAS DONE FOR ME EACH & EVERYDAY, I ALSO SOMETIMES FORGET THAT HE IS THERE FOR ME & I CAN ASK HIM ANYTHING, KNOWING FOR CERTAIN, I MAY NOT LIKE THE ANSWERS, BUT IT SEEMS, SOMEHOW TO USUALLY TURN OUT O.K.
MY JOB HAS BEEN GOOD. I ACTUALLY REALLY ENJOY IT. BEING FULL TIME HAS OPENED UP SO MANY DDORS FOR ME & I THANK GOD, FOR THAT.. BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM, AFTER LOSING YOU... I COULD HAVE EASILY CRAWLED INTO A HOLE & LEFT IT ALL, BUT I CHOSE TO KEEP GOING, TO SMILE EVERYDAY & TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE THAT I CAN. THAT MAKES ME HAPPY, WHEN I CAN MAKE SOMEONE ELSE HAPPY & MAKE THEM SMILE... THAT LITERALLY MAKES MY DAY... I NEVER THOUGHT YOU & I WOULD HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN COMMON, HAVING CUSTOMERS & HAVING THEM WALK IN & HELPING THEM & THEN WATCHING THEM WALK OUT SO HAPPY & EXCITED! WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN?? THE MORE YOU KNOW & THE MORE YOU DO, THE MORE THEY RELY ON YOU ALSO, SO... I NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO DRAW THELINE, BEFORE I GET HUNG UP ON IT!
AMBER SEEMS TO BE DOIN O.K. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE BITH WORKING FULL TIME JOBS NOW??? I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM. IT'S ABOUT TIME. I AHVE TO KEEP HER BUILT UP & EXCITED THOUGH, SHE HAS A HARD TIME DOING THAT HERSELF. NO CONFIDENCE AT ALL, BUB, I THINK YOU GOT IT ALL & SHE GOT NONE.
TIMMY TURNED 6 , AUG. 10TH, BAILEY WILL BE 4 MONDAY, TRIN 5 NOV. 8TH & THEN THE MUNCHKIN, WILL BE 3 MARCH 3RD.
I HATE IT THAT YOU WERE NOT HERE SO THEY COULD KNOW THERE UNCLE JORDAN. BUT I PROMISE YOU BUB, THEY WILL KNOW YOU, BEST THEY CAN , BECAUSE YOUR SISTER & I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT! YOU WILL NEVER BE HIDDEN IN OUR HOMES. MAMA RUSSELL HAS YOUAROUND ALL THE TIME, UNCLE JOHN... I'M SURE EVERYONE ELSE TO, THOSE BABIES WILL ALWAYS KNOW YOU & HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE!
CHELSI, SEEMS TO NEED YOU RIGHT NOW. SCHOOL IS SO TOUGH & THAT CHILD IS SO VERY PRECIOUS JORDAN. TIMID & QUIET.. PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE BE MEAN TO HER. SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL CHILD & I LOVE HER SO MUCH.. WATCH OVER HER EVERY DAY SWEETHEART! I WISH I COULD GET TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HER, I WOULD LOVE TO JUST SIT & TALK WITH HER, ONE ON ONE.
Heyy Jordan I know I Just Wrote You The Other Day But I have Too much Time On My Hands At School...To Much time To Think.....&&My Momma Needs Your guarding Right Now...For You To Help Give Her The strength To Finish Our Hous...Grandmas Old house....Were getting there i Know I Need To Help Her more Though...But I Know If She Knows Your There...Helping Her She Will MOve On Farther..Well I guess I Gopt Work i Need To Do For Now && Im Gonna try to talk to you every day
heyy jordan i havent gotten on here in a while..I just wanted to say heyy&&we miss you A-LOT..schools been tough&&no not the work..the way people are && everything I do just seems wrong..but Im trying every day to be stronger && i know oyu watching donw on all of us helping us out..granpa had a close call a couple of times&&i know it was you guarding him..&&your momma is haning in but by a thread..so just let her know your okay && you love her dearly..well im at school && i got work to get done so I Will tlka to you later
Tough Days Ahead / Aunt Anita (Aunt) Hey bubba. Been a long time since I've been here. I know you know why. We talk with you all daily down here. You tell grandma Sidwell that as I prepare to go through all this, that I will never forget, and always keep in my heart, her love , guidance and love that was given to me from her when I was a youngin' in the hospital all those years ago. I will hang tight to her saying "don't you ever give up". I know that you are there too. I will remember what we were all robbed of when we lost each of you, and say to myself "enough is enough". I will be tough because I know that is what you would tell me to do. We miss you so much. Not a day goes by that we don't think of your smiling face. That, along with my girls, will get me through anything. I love and miss you so much. Be good up there. Give mamaw and papaw a big hug and kiss for me, and so many others. I know you all are watching over us. Close
AMBER CALLED & SAID THEY WERE HAVIN A BAD DAY. THEY TOOK TIMMY TO CHUCKIE CHEESES & THE TIRE WENT FLAT. THEY HAVE HAD AN AWFUL TIME TRYIN TO GET IT FIXED. I'M SURE U KNOW WHAT I MEAN. THEY WERE 2 HRS. LATE GETTING THERE.
I TOLD TIMMY HAPPY BIRTHDAY & ASKED HIM IF HE WAS HAVIN A GOOD DAY & HE SAID 'NO". I DONT KNOW WHY IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE SO DIFFICULT FOR THEM.
I SPENT A FEW HRS. WITH THEM THURSDAY. JORDAN THOSE KIDS ARE SO SWEET. TRIN'S A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL, BUT THEY WERE GOOD. I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME WITH THEM. WE WENT SHOPPING DOWN TOWN, THEY LOVED HELPING ME PICK OUT THINGS FOR MY NEW ROOM I'M DOIN.I LOVE THEM SO MUCH & I FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN SO CHEATED, NOT TO HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW THERE UNCLE JORDAN. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
I WAS ON MY WAY TO WORK THIS MORNING & HAD A BAD FEW MINUTES.ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT IS THE THINGS THAT YOU & US HAVE MISSED OUT ON & THEN I THINK, WELL HE IS IN A MUCH BETTER PLACE. BUT BUB, WE MISS YOU SO BAD HONEY, EVERYDAY, EVERY MINUTE...
ALL I ASK IS TO PLEASE WATCH OVER US ALWAYS SWEETHEART, LET US KNOW THAT YOU ARE WITH US. WE FOUND A PENNY ON THE SIDEWALK THE OTHER DAY & I TOLD THE KIDS THAT, THAT WAS YOU LETTING US KNOW THAT YOU WERE WITH US. TIMMY WOULD THROW IT UP & IT WOULD COME BACK DOWN & HE'D SAY"LOOK, JORDAN THREW IT BACK TO ME".
WATCHIN' OVER ME AGAIN, WEREN'T YOU KIDDO???? 4 CLOSE CALLS ON MY 3100 MILE RIDE TO THE TIP OF MAINE AND BACK ( MOOSE IN THE ROAD, WHITEFACE MOUNTAIN, NEW YORK CITY)
THANK YOU!!!!!!! GRANDMA SIDWELL PROBABLY HAD A HAND IN IT AS WELL!!
WE TAKE GRANDPA RUSSELL TO CLEVELAND CLINIC ON AUG. 20.... LAY YOUR ANGEL WINGS ON HIM SWEETHEART!!
MISS YOU TERRIBLY!!! LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!! OXOXOXOXOXOXO
jordy/ Melissa Newell
hi there hey i have two kids.... kelcie and kaidyn i'm sure you can see that but i just wanted to tell you i was thinking about you and just so you know my daughter was due on your birthday.... i had her on march 31'st but i love you and see you sometime Close
Tributes and Condolences
